gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
