if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
