you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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