rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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