youre lurking in front of me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
