Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
