after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
