woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize