My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
