So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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