Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
