Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
