Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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