If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
