just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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