They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
