Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just google imaged poop.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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