she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
