her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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