just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
