just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
