You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
