Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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