Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
whose parrot is this?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
