I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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