he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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