I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
why do cheetos always look like penises
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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