I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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