I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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