i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
