Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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