just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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