Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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