We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
