and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
