Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
