if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
