It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
