For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
