i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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