HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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