so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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