can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
