boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
