just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
