Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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