He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
