i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
