what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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