it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
