Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
