Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
