so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
